Motivate thyself....

What are those parasitic habits and restrictive behaviors that are holding you back?
1. THINKING I am too fat to be lovable, worthy or successful.
2. Buying into my THOUGHTS, that I am too fat to be lovable, worthy or successful....
3. Which in turn brings forth unloveability, worthlessness, and failure.

This is where I automatically go when on auto pilot. But I know, I believe with every bit of my being, that our thoughts become our reality. So... my goal is to stay in control of my thoughts and actions and stay OUT of autopilot.
I wish to stay conscience and present, and I strive to live authentically.
I'll work on this in week 2.

Happy Birthday Rick

Happy birthday my friend. Yes, my friend - even though he said it with love... it stung. "You are all talk and no action." My first response... "well, I'll show you!" He enthusiastically replied with "GOOD!".
Yes, I suppose I have been a lot of action - less talk lately... I live in my head, and such a glorious life I live inside there. The place is beautiful - rolling hills, speckled with trees, and a view of my private beach from my studio window. I walk a short walk to my studio every morning from my cozy little home decorated in Nantucket style.... people - where are all the people? god, I need people... Not regular people though, I need people who are creative, artistic, supportive, and who are NOT dependent on me to make their life worth living. I need people who encourage me to be free to be me, not people who stifle my growth.
I suppose I could take back control, own who I am, (but who am I?). I suppose I could stand up for myself - face the fear of hurting others, and be okay with the disappointment I witness on the faces of the ones who claim to love me. I suppose I could do all this - but for now... I committed to creating a blog. A private blog... where I can be free to be me... and be what may.

Friends we should have

I read this article today in Oprah's newsletter - and I got to thinking about the friends I do have. huh... I feel like I lost one of the ones I've been closest too, as she's seemed to fallen off the face of the earth. In actuality, I feel like she broke up with me, without telling me so. We use to meet for lunch at least once a week - but sometimes up to three times. I haven't heard from her in 3 weeks now. I suppose somethings up...

Five Friends Every Woman Should Have

By Michelle Burford

"Friends are the family we choose for ourselves," writer Edna Buchanan once said. I consider the "family" I've gathered—with five kinds of pals I count on for completely different things—among the wisest choices I've made. If you can find even one who embodies any of the characteristics that follow, you can consider yourself fortunate.

1. The Uplifter
This woman's favorite word: yes. You could tell her you're trading your six-figure income for a career in offtrack betting, and she'd barely pause before yelping "Go for it!" Don't you need someone who looks past the love handles to notice the extraordinarily gorgeous you?

2. The Travel Buddy
When the hotel in St. Lucia is a bust, one characteristic becomes all-important: flexibility. This agreeable companion need not be the girl you traded pinkie swears with on the playground; it's enough that she's comfortable with quiet (between gabfests) and is a teensy bit mischievous (as in tequila after midnight).

3. The Truth Teller
Intent is what separates the constructive from the abusive. Once you've established that the hard news is spoken in love (not in jealousy or malice), you'd be smart to seek out this woman's perspective.

4. The Girl Who Just Wants to Have Fun
One Saturday a pal and I—and yes, we're both over age 12—pored over every glitter lip gloss in a drugstore aisle for an entire 45 minutes. Forget the crisis download (for that, see the Uplifter); this partnership is about spontaneous good times.

5. The Unlikely Friend
"Each friend represents a world in us, a world possibly not born until they arrive," Anaïs Nin wrote. My friends—some twice my age, others half, some rich, others homeless, some black like me, others Korean, Mexican, Caucasian—have added richness to my life that only variety can bring.